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Welcome to the Personals column. Here are some helpful notes gleaned from research. You may be apprehensive about answering an ad placed by someone you do not know. You might be interested in what was placed in their ad. Or faced with placing your ad with your best boast forward in hopes of getting a response.
Blind ads, voice mail, columns of suggestive as well as sensitive ads to choose from. Compose the main points you want to say. Try to be sincere but not too forward and remember it is unlikely you are the fantasy man or woman YOU are picturing in your mind. "My best friends tell me I'm....", "Easy on the eyes", "Athletic type"...they all conjure an image, but is it really a true one?
The appearance question should not be dwelled upon. That chemistry cannot be described in words. Get along to interests, ambitions and your values. These are the things that make a relationship last.
When you get the courage to make contact, that first call, be in an up mood. Have that optimistic-positive approach, you'll sound very appealing to your contact. Your inflections, pauses and even breathing can compliment what you have to say. If the contact uses an answering device you should be specific about the time you want your call returned (if you choose to leave your number). Be there to accept the call, you'll both determine your dependability. Record yourself on a personal recorder to see how you come across. You'll be in better control of how to make that first phone impression.
Then when it comes time to get together on the phone for the first time, keep the conversation light. Don't go for jokes and phony laughter. Keep it friendly and upbeat. No personal problems should be topics of the conversation at this time. Build up good feelings and trust with honest communication. Don't be overly interested in meeting just to see if they are worth meeting. Schedule a second call and meet that time. The second call will be a good time to become more intimate. Yes, you do get lonely sometimes, yes you are discouraged at times but your self esteem is in tact. Don't be guarded or defensive. You are both in this situation and conversation, be honest it's okay.
After a couple of phone conversations you should feel comfortable enough to meet. If you have negative feelings it would be wise to move on to another prospect. You should meet in a public place, a woman might want a friend to be with you and nearby or be in the area. Do not bring anyone home until you feel the person is your 'friend'. You might want a close friend to know where you are going. Do not enter into this new relationship blindly or without caution. Yes it is risky, that is why we have prepared some guidelines to help you in this situation. Remember to be warm, friendly and open. Dress comfortably to be more relaxed. If an evening date, and make it for an off night such as Wednesday or Thursday and do not do dinner and/or a movie. There is no time to connect, no worry about who pays. Try meeting at a public museum, campus, garden or park. Allow about an hour of communicating then if you are interested say I would like to hear from you next week. Take it from there.
When you look at the personal ads, keep an opened mind. Keep in mind the kind of person you are looking for, what type? What kind of traits do you admire? Keep a list of the primary ads ads you want to check meeting your most important criteria. Then another list with the qualities you would like but do not insist upon. Then a third list of your best attributes that make you better than the others competing with you.
Are you ready to work on the ad? Here are some tips. Be bold and avoid the sameness of the other ads that will frame yours. You will want yours to stand out by being the same as those ads that mention 'sensitive', 'attractive', 'fun-loving'. You will want to be individualistic and imaginative. Describe your personal goals, dreams and professional ambitions. Write, rewrite, edit and review your ad draft. Mention your values, tastes. Are you ready? We suggest you apply with our one on one personals now. Our association is with one of the most professional organizations in the world and is seen all over the world on the internet by professional men and women...just like you. Our best...go for it.
Suggestions: Keep a note pad near your phone with key words or phrases to help you with those initial conversations. You will want to put the caller at ease. A smile on your face will come through in your voice. Don't be discouraged it is unlikely your ultimate choice will come from the first person who contacts you. Again we wish you the best.
Match up with a Celebrity
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